Category: Let's talk
have you ever met someone and you've got on really well, only to discover days, weeks, months down the line that the person you really liked wasn't actually as nice as you thought they were? I think we've probably all been there, the nice first impression is often one which can go wrong so quickly. and yet, why is it so difficult, if you meet someone you don't like after that first meeting, to get to like that person? I guess what I'm trying to say is, why can nice turn horrible, but horrible doesn't seem to turn out nice?
Interesting. It's been proven over and over again that humans are very susceptible to first impressions. No matter how much we think we're above that, it seems that we subconciously make up our minds about someone more or less instantly, and it's hard to get past that initial impression. Perhaps, if we initially decide someone's not worth our time, we just don't give them the chance to prove us wrong? Just a thought, Erin
yeh actually I think that's quite a good thought. after all, if we're drawn to someone from the outset, then we will make the effort to get to know them better, whereas if they don't do anything for us, then we just don't bother, and hence I guess we just never get to see the side of them that we might like.
i dont ussually base my judgements in the first time i meet someone, i hate judging people. all my friends we had that connection but i found out about that connection hrough spending more time with them and getting to knowhey really are.
Sugar baby, I've had this happen with me mostly on the internet more than I have in person. I usually base my impressions of people by what the say, and how they talk, though mostly in my case, I've talked to more people who I had a nice impression of at first, then they'd do or say something that made me think, hmmm, this person isn't nice at all. usually my nice impressions turned out bad, but most of my bad impressions stayed bad, though there was one person I had a bad impression of, but who turned out not to be quite as bad as he seemsd. The reason I got a bad impression of him was because of something he said. A friend of mine was in a room, and when this person came across his user name, he said, "who the *h is this? I thought, that's no way to greet a person, but we came across each other in another room, and I even came to add him to my msn messenger. When he was in my room, I told him I'd gotten a bad impression of him because of that incident, and he said he was going to watch what he said in my room, and since then, he's never said so much as one curse word when talking to me. That was an impression that started out bad, but turned out better, but most of the bad impressions of people have continued to stay bad, and it's not because of things they wouldn't do for me, it's the way they talked, or if and when they've said something offensive to me.
wonderwoman
A few times but it's all part of the process...although I did once flirt with idea of friendship with a Goth lad, who seemed all right, until he called Ardeth a cocktease. Apparently he had a reputation for being rude to women, so we blanked him for 2 weeks and fortunately your man took the hint
Hm, I think that period of disillusionment when you get to know someone better whom you really liked at first is unavoidable. On a smaller scale it is the same thing that happens to all relationships once the "honeymoon" is over: one gets to know the other person much better, but also more thoroughly. It happens to all relationships, romantic and otherwise, I think. But you know, I don't think it's that uncommon to eventually come to really like someone one didn't like at first, provided one is forced to get to know the person better anyway. This is what actually happened in the case of my first "real" boyfriend. I don't know why, but when we first met, I disliked him intensely for no clear reason whatsoever. We were in a couple of classes together and had mutual friends, and so got to know each other a lot better. It's ten year later now, but I still think he is one of the greatest people I've ever met.
I agree i have been there. My Online-ex-BF - I liked him at first but he was really getting stranger and stranger. But, all though it is difficult that borable can turn out nice, I have bee nthere, too. Honestly I am a person who often liked those who others didn't like. I made enemies through that but I don't care, because even people who others don't like can be very nice.